Tannenschlag Greetings to You!
Literally, to whip or beat the fir tree, Tannenschlag is a holiday to celebrate friendships over material goods, as well as to thank our delivery drivers for their hard work this time of year.
The best things in life are not things, and Tannenschlag encourages us to carry this spirit into our relationships and purchasing decisions through the holiday season.
WHEN
Tannenschlag is always the first Saturday in December.
December 6, 2025
CELEBRATE AT HOME
1) Wear hues of pink and orange, as well as neckwear such as a scarf or cravat.
2) Honor your delivery drivers. Leave them gifts on your porch, or better yet thank them in person with a tip!
3) Purify your home by donating winter clothes, decorations and other items that can be put to immediate seasonal use (Krappengeben).
4) Get social: post pics and tell us about your celebration
THROW YOUR OWN JUBILEE
Jubilees always take place on the first Saturday in December.
The host chooses a non-traditional holiday theme and cuisine that varies each year. Peanuts are verboten.
Pink and orange lights and upside down trees are the primary decor.
JUBILEE CUSTOMS
When you are invited to a Tannenschlag Jubilee it is important to participate, prepare for, and observe the customs!
1) Wear pink, orange, and some form of neckwear.
2) Bring a haiku, short poem/story, or song to share that celebrates the season. Brevity is a Tannenschlag virtue.
3) Bring an empty, sealed cardboard box or other more unusual packaging for Kartonspiel stacking games.
4) Bring the longest shopping receipt you can find for Die Mülliste competition.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
My ex and I had a decade of rocking Festivus parties, but that ended. I loved bringing people together, but I didn't love that it was always on December 23rd and it involved a lot of white elephant waste. So in 2021 I created a new holiday to celebrate friendships, reality check abject consummerism, and thank our delivery drivers who are on the front lines of the holiday retail baccanal.
Joe (left) with his brother Mike
