Songs & Haikus
From its inception, Tannenschlag has always had a spoken word component. Brevity is a Tannenschlag virtue, so it was decided that guests share their holiday sentiments via haikus and short poems.
In the very first year, some creative guests surprised the host with a sing-along of traditional carols with new Tannenschlag lyrics. It was a huge hit, and songs instantly became a tradition. Each year we add to our song list.
See below for selected works from past Tannenschlags.
Time is slippery
The best things in life aren’t things
Celebrate friendship
Peanut butter cups
Oh my so many nuts here
Ana-phy-lax-is
Mighty Tannenshclag
Dry, prickly, tilted and lit
Like Grandma Betty
Eat some chocolate, drink some wine, and the night is mighty fine
Grab some shortbread and some cider, and a roasted turkey slider
Have some eggnog and some cake, disregard the stomachache
Dip some fruit in crème anglaise, and enjoy the holidays!
Whether rain or snow
The holiday means loved ones
Lights in the long nights
There once was a host named Joseph
Who demanded haikus as a host gift
Along with receipts of sellables
I’m bad at counting syllables
But it's still a verse and he knows it
Tis the season of giving
But I’d rather be receiving
Peace of mind, holly and some jolly
…anyone got some Molly?
Let’s all make a toast for the New Year:
To happiness, healthiness, and being queer.
My windows rattle
Is it Santa bringing gifts?
Nope just Owen’s car
Oh Tannenschlag
Oh Tannenschlag
Oh 10 inch log
With delight I see you
Oh Tannenschlag
Oh 10 inch log
How faithfully you blossom
When winter days are dark and drear
You bring us hope for all the year
Oh Tannenschlag
Oh 10 inch log
You bear a joyful massage
Deck the Halls with pink and OR-ange
Fa-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la!
Nothing fucking rhymes with OR-ange
Fa-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la!
What the hell’s in that piñata?
Fa-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la!
Tip the help don’t be a twat-a
Fa-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la!
Deck the Halls
Tannenschlag is Here
Tannenschslag is here
Bringing us some beer
Pink and orange on everyone
The best event this year
Laughter fills the air
Gay men everywhere
Kartonspiel, burrito meal
Our love of Joe we share
To the tune of Charlie Brown – Christmas Time is Here
Oh Tannenschlag, Oh Tannenschlag
We’ve come to beat your branches
We’ll whack the tree, at Christmas time
We’re guaranteed a gay old time
Your fir stands tall, in winter chill
With every stroke a yule tide thrill
Oh Tannenschlag, Oh Tannenschlag
We’ve come to beat your branches
Oh Tannenschlag (2)
